You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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