So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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