if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
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day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
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Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
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