Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
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Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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