If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize