Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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