Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize