I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize