I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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