She is in my trunk
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my being single is dangerous.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize