I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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