At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
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your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
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Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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