Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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