I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize