we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
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We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
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Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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