So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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