no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize