His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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