Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize