I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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