We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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