pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize