Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize