You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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