I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize