i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize