the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
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The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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