Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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