I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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