Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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