Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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