I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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