You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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