I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Randomize