and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize