I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize