he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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