I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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