she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize