I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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