So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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