Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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