i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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