your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i will never coherently bang her
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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