I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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