We're facebook friends in real life
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
soo... how was my night?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize