I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize