WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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