i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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