my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Four minutes until I can fart!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize